Car Dealers – The Aston Martin DB9

Within thirty seconds of discussing this car in the office, all windows are open, heavy jumpers removed and the air con is begging for a fan. Coveted by every man and car dealer worldwide, you certainly don’t need us to tell you the divine attributes of this prodigy. The mighty Martin is lust incarnate, and in the Quality Street of cars, this would be the purple one.

The DB9 is a gorgeous combination of sticky fudge and black caviar; deliciously indulgent and exquisitely put together. The kind of artistry that Monet would be hard pushed by, there’s no better word than scorching. This motor is so supersonic it reaches an impressive 0-60mph in 4.6 seconds. Fair to say we’re in love? The sharp lines are nipped and tucked to precision, whilst the polished body makes it look like something from a friendly H.G. Wells novel. Although slightly (and massively) pretentious, the sporty persona of the DB9 tones down what could easily be a theatre on wheels. Your ego will inflate to astronomic heights, but if Bond approves, there’s really no arguing.

Kitted out with sat-nav and personal media station, the ‘hand-trimmed’ interior makes for a more than agreeable ride (mahogany or walnut, we’re not picky). It’s is also up to 590 kg lighter than previous models, granting a divinely delicate drive. There’s a super-human quality to the DB9 that’s so electrifying, you’ll hear its pulse from the garage. Admittedly, it’s fairly costly, but did you ever really want that conservatory? (Or the TV, new bathroom, villa in Spain…) Fantasy, perhaps, but we’re happy to romanticise this once.

New dampers and revised suspension have propelled the DB9 to further heights, as recent motor critics grumbled about cost versus quality. Conscious of negative press, Aston Martin has made sure there are no misgivings to be found this time, and things, if possible, can only get better. We’d happily take it over the synthetic styles of the Lamborghini Murcielago or Audi R8 (although we’ve zero complaints where these are concerned).

If you think you can cope, check out the DBS for even more sizzling chic. The latest Carbon black model will leave the Batmobile thoroughly demoralised, and you doubting your self-worth. The V8 Vantage Roadster is equally as impressive as the Volante convertible for those who like their St Tropez tan.

Truthfully, this beauty is a petrol catastrophe; you’ll need sterling patience and some even sturdier plastic to stay friends with it. Judging from the aesthetics, however, you probably won’t even care, as the ‘swan-wing’ doors speak for themselves. Aside from the scanty baggage room, we’re picking little fault with this treasure and are more than happy to call it ‘cosy’, seeing as a weekly shop is unlikely to ever be its agenda.

The awesome Aston excuses any mid-life crisis and makes even Lewis Hamilton’s ride look economy class. Superbly smoking, it won’t hurt to seek out your car dealers favourite whisky (and we’re betting it’s a vintage).